Friday, September 23, 2011

Conversations and Questions

On the way home from Alabama last week, a frustrating thing happened.  I want to share it with you wives out there and see if you can sympathize or whether it's just my husband that does this. 

It was late evening when we were leaving for the 5-hour trip home.  We had seen lots of family and friends at the funeral home and even though the occasion was a sad one, it was good to see everyone.  About 30 minutes or so into the trip, Brad realized he had missed a text message from his mother.  She simply said, "call Larry*, he wants to talk to you."  (*name changed, :) )

Now the back story on Larry is that he is a long-time family friend, specifically, he is my in-laws realtor.  Yes, their realtor is a close, close friend, and if you've ever heard Brad rattle off all the addresses he lived at through the years he lived at home, you would understand.  We joked that when his parents moved to Mississippi, Larry and his wife would have to close shop because their business had moved Westward.  But no worries, my in-laws are back in Alabama, and I believe his realty business is back stronger than ever. 

So even though Larry is a close friend to Brad's parents, he's never called and specifically asked for Brad.  Larry and his wife have been good to us over the years, they helped find us a realtor in the Jackson area when we moved here from Louisiana those many, many years ago, and we send each other Christmas cards, but personal phone calls just aren't in the scope of our friendship, ya know?

So this piqued our curiousity.  Why was he wanting to talk to Brad?  Brad and I discussed it for several miles.  We even texted his mother back to see if she had a clue what he wanted.  No, she said, no clue.  He simply asked if we were out of town yet and to call him as soon as we could. 

So we discussed it some more and could come up with nothing.  Did he want to talk about something personal?  something business-related?  something serious?  something not-so-serious? 

"Just call him!"  I said. 

But I didn't know if Brad would call him back or not, because Brad's just funny that way.  If it would have been me, I would've been calling the second I got the text but not Brad.  He has to think about the message and perhaps altogether ignore it. 

We stopped somewhere between there and here at a truck stop.  It was dark and we were tired.  I had almost forgotten about the whole "call Larry" conversation until I walked out of the truck stop and saw Brad on his cell phone.  Okay, he called Larry, and I couldn't wait to find out what he wanted!

I offered to drive so he could talk so we both got in and hit the road again.  I heard Brad's side of the conversation which went something like this:

"No sir, we're already on the road."


"That is so sweet."

"It's okay, don't worry about it."


There were also lots of yeahs and okays and uh-huhs scattered throughout.  My mind was trying to piece together what the heck they were talking about.   I thought as soon as Brad hung up I would find out. 

But I thought wrong. 

When the conversation was over, Brad put down his I-phone, adjusted the air conditioner vents and his pillow, laid his head back, and was bedding down.  Not a word

So there I was trying to decide whether or not to ask the obvious question or wait it out and see if Brad would ever tell me what the conversation was about. 

After several, several miles of silence I couldn't take it anymore.  And no kidding, I broke the ice by saying, "I know what my next post is going to be about."  To which he asked, "What?" to which I said, "husbands that do not share phone calls with their wives." 

Now, let me just say a couple of things:

First, I know my husband, and I know that he could have and would have ridden all the way home without telling me one word of their conversation. 

Second, I know me, and I know sometimes I get nosy curious and want to know who he is texting or talking to and (sue me) what they are talking about.  I have gotten better at this over the years however.  Now I try not to even ask and figure he will eventually tell me if it is something I need to know about.  But there's no guarantee with him that he will EVER tell me, so sometimes I'm forced to ask. 

Back in the car, I explained to him that I don't want to know or need to know about his every conversation, but this was a special case wasn't it?  Had we not just spent many minutes and miles discussing what Larry could possibly have wanted?  Had it not gotten the both of us curious?  For him to just hang up and go to sleep was beyond my comprehension, but he swore he doesn't do it on purpose to keep me in the dark, and yes, he reminded me that I didn't ask.  What.  Ever. 

Open your mouth and speak, dude. 

So here's my question. 

Have I got the only husband in the world who can have a full-length telephone conversation in front of his wife, then hang up, and not utter one single, itty bitty word about the conversation?  And should this drive me as crazy as it does?  (Okay, that's two questions)

Should the person engaged in the conversation be the one responsible for sharing the info, or should it be the unengaged listener who is responsible for asking for the info?  (Okay, now that's three)

While I'm asking questions, here's a few more.  I know you guys aren't huge commenters, but I really, really would like your opinion on this. 

With all the new technology, how much "privacy" do you give your spouse?  Do you always know who they are texting?  Is it rude to ask?  Is it okay to read their texts?  Does it offend you when your spouse asks you who you are texting? 

What is the etiquette on this?  Any opinions? 

By the way, dear Mr. Larry was going to give us gas money. 

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