Sunday, April 26, 2009

More of Him, Less of Me

When I started this blog, I purposed it to be a good, uplifting, happy one. Nothing you would have to concentrate too hard on. Just a place to share my life with those who for some reason might be interested.

So what do I do when I'm not feeling good, uplifting, or happy? What do I do? Do I stop posting until I feel I have something "happy" to post? Or do I just say I feel crummy and trust you all will keep reading anyway? I choose the latter.

I spent a good part of this last week praying for something. More specifically, I spent a good part of last week praying for a specific attitude. And I'm still trying to figure out why I failed so miserably.

I needed to keep my focus on Him. I prayed to stay positive no matter what. I wanted to thank Him regardless how the situation turned out. And I definitely needed to remember Who was in control.

But just like an ominous gray cloud creeping ever closer, my attitude and thoughts turned negative, just as I prayed they would not do. I could feel it happening, and I was screaming on the inside to fight it, and I tried, but eventually I was no match. I was in a tornado with negative voices and thoughts swirling all around me, and I felt there was no way out.

Why, God? Why did I allow Satan to win this battle, again? I want a Godly attitude and I want Godly thoughts. I want to do Your will. That is why it hurts so bad when I fail so miserably.

Bottom line is that I need more practice implementing this verse:

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3: 17 NIV


Anonymous said...

Hey Amy!! I have been fighting that same battle. I was about to start my last test in one of my classes that I am taking when I read your post. It really helped. Out of the blue I decided to look at your blog, now I know it was GOD! Love ya, Kerri

Amy said...

Hey Kerri,

Good to hear from you! How did your test go? Thanks for reading and leaving a comment; it really means alot!