I Would Never!

It's Monday, and I've decided to join in MckMama's "Not Me Monday" blog carnival!

What is "Not Me Monday" you ask? It's a chance to look back through the last week of your life, think of all the things you did you are not proud of, and then vehemently deny each and every one of them. Think of it as free, albeit twisted, therapy. I suggest you try it!

Here goes:

I did not check out the entire 1st season of "Remington Steele" from the library, come home and watch four episodes back to back. That would have been a huge waste of time-and I don't waste time, ever.


I did not find a half-dollar sized piece of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich under my dining room table. And when I picked it up, it was not hard as a rock. A piece of food could never hide from my good housekeeping eye for that long. No way.


I did not forget to buy toilet paper during my last trip to the store. We were not having to share the last pitiful roll of toilet paper between our two bathrooms.


I did not take the long way home from the library for a few more precious moments alone. I would never do that, because I love being in the presence of my family. Always.


I did not show up for a haircut appointment (for me and both kids) 30 minutes late because I forgot to write down the time of the appointment. I did not feel bad for throwing off her whole afternoon schedule, and I certainly did not insist the people who showed up on time for their appointment go ahead of us just because we were a little late and had totally missed our appointment. No, I would never be so careless.


I did not tell my daughter that if she kept leaving her brand new scooter at the end of our driveway, the garbage men would think it garbage and crush it in their big truck. No, that would just be mean.


And speaking of my daughter and her recreational vehicles, I definitely did not back over her bicycle and totally crush a training wheel. I certainly did not do that.